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Just by Looking at Him
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
- Length: 6 hrs and 34 mins
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Publisher's summary
From the star of Peacock’s Queer as Folk and the Netflix series Special comes a “funny, tender, and beautiful” (Gary Janetti, New York Times bestselling author) novel following a gay TV writer with cerebral palsy as he fights addiction and searches for acceptance in an overwhelmingly ableist world.
Elliott appears to be living the dream as a successful TV writer with a doting boyfriend. But behind his Instagram filter of a life, he’s grappling with an intensifying alcohol addiction, he can’t seem to stop cheating on his boyfriend with various sex workers, and his cerebral palsy is making him feel like gay Shrek.
After falling down a rabbit hole of sex, drinking, and Hollywood backstabbing, Elliott decides to limp his way towards redemption. But facing your demons is easier said than done.
“With his singular voice and unforgettable wit” (Steven Rowley, author of The Guncle), Ryan O’Connell presents a candid, biting, and refreshingly real commentary on gay life, laugh-out-loud exploration of self, and a rare insight into life as a person with disabilities.
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I'm Special
- And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
- By: Ryan O'Connell
- Narrated by: Ryan O'Connell
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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This hilarious part memoir, part manifesto reveals what sets apart the latest generation of young people coming of age in an all-wired, overeducated, and underemployed world. People are obsessed with Ryan O'Connell's blogs. With tens of thousands reading his pieces on Thought Catalog and Vice, watching his videos on YouTube, and hanging on to each and every #dark tweet, Ryan has established himself as a unique young voice who's not afraid to dole out some real talk.
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loved it!
- By Felix on 06-22-21
By: Ryan O'Connell
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Bath Haus
- A Thriller
- By: P. J. Vernon
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch, Daniel Henning
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Oliver Park, a recovering addict from Indiana, finally has everything he ever wanted: sobriety and a loving, wealthy partner in Nathan, a prominent DC trauma surgeon. Despite their difference in age and disparate backgrounds, they've made a perfect life together. With everything to lose, Oliver shouldn't be visiting Haus, a gay bathhouse. But through the entrance he goes, and it's a line crossed. Inside, he follows a man into a private room, and it's the final line. Whatever happens next, Nathan can never know.
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Absolutely Gripping
- By Joseph on 06-18-21
By: P. J. Vernon
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The Boy in the Rain
- By: Stephanie Cowell
- Narrated by: Philip Battley
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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It is 1903 in the English countryside when Robbie, a shy young art student, meets the twenty-nine-year-old Anton who is running from memories of his brutal childhood and failed marriage. Within months, they begin a love affair that will never let them go. Robbie grows into an accomplished portraitist in the vivid London art world with the help of Anton's enchanting former wife, while Anton turns from his inherited wealth and connections to improve the conditions of the poor.
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An entrancing, unforgettable journey into the past
- By echolocation345 on 09-08-23
By: Stephanie Cowell
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Boyslut
- A Memoir and Manifesto
- By: Zachary Zane
- Narrated by: Zachary Zane
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.
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Great insight and information. Vain human.
- By Lauren B. on 07-27-23
By: Zachary Zane
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Tin Man
- A Novel
- By: Sarah Winman
- Narrated by: Sarah Winman
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Ellis and Michael are 12-year-old boys when they first become friends, and for a long time, it is just the two of them, cycling the streets of Oxford, teaching themselves how to swim, discovering poetry, and dodging the fists of overbearing fathers. And then one day, this closest of friendships grows into something more. But then, we fast-forward a decade or so to find that Ellis is married to Annie, and Michael is nowhere in sight. Which leads to the question: What happened in the years between?
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new favorite book
- By steph on 10-01-18
By: Sarah Winman
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Call Me by Your Name
- A Novel
- By: André Aciman
- Narrated by: Armie Hammer
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Call Me by Your Name first swept across the world in 2007. It is the story of a sudden and powerful romance that blossoms between an adolescent boy and a summer guest at his parents' cliffside mansion on the Italian Riviera. During the restless summer weeks, unrelenting but buried currents of obsession, fascination, and desire intensify their passion as they test the charged ground between them and verge toward the one thing both already fear they may never truly find again: total intimacy.
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Amazing.
- By Nico L. on 10-07-17
By: André Aciman
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Coming Up for Air
- By: Tom Daley
- Narrated by: Tom Daley
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Tom Daley is one of the most beloved athletes of our time, having competed as a diver in four Olympics, garnering medals and finally, in 2021 in Tokyo, winning gold. But few people know the realities of his life beyond the pool—his struggles, his secret triumphs and the mindset he needed to cultivate to become a champion.
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Admirably honest
- By Robert P. Setter on 07-14-23
By: Tom Daley
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Fellow Travelers
- By: Thomas Mallon
- Narrated by: Christian Barillas
- Length: 14 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world of bare-knuckled ideology and secret dossiers, Timothy Laughlin, a recent college graduate and devout Catholic, is eager to join the crusade against Communism. An encounter with a handsome State Department official, Hawkins Fuller, leads to Tim's first job and, after Fuller's advances, his first love affair.
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AWFUL Snooze Fest
- By JWH on 12-27-23
By: Thomas Mallon
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All Down Darkness Wide
- A Memoir
- By: Seán Hewitt
- Narrated by: Seán Hewitt
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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When Seán Hewitt meets Elias, the two fall headlong into a love story. But as Elias struggles with severe mental illness, they soon come face-to-face with crisis. All Down Darkness Wide is a perceptive and unflinching meditation on the burden of living in a world that too often sets happiness and queer life at odds, and a tender and honest portrayal of what it’s like to be caught in the undertow of a loved one’s deep depression. As lives are made and unmade, this memoir asks what love can endure and what it cannot.
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Layers of meaning
- By Germoglio on 09-23-23
By: Seán Hewitt
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Giovanni's Room (Deluxe Edition)
- A Novel (Vintage International)
- By: James Baldwin
- Narrated by: Kevin Young
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Giovanni's Room is set in the Paris of the 1950s, where a young American expatriate finds himself caught between his repressed desires and conventional morality. David has just proposed marriage to his American girlfriend, but while she is away on a trip he becomes involved in a doomed affair with a bartender named Giovanni. With sharp, probing insight, James Baldwin's classic narrative delves into the mystery of love and tells a deeply moving story that reveals the unspoken complexities of the human heart.
By: James Baldwin
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What listeners say about Just by Looking at Him
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tracy Casanova
- 02-04-23
I hope the author went to therapy
The whispering was hard to hear.
It was enlightening to hear the author's perspective on his experience with a disability and being gay. I truly hope he received professional help for his low self-worth and self-loathing.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-30-22
Waaaaao! What a read!
Great book! So happy I read it! Super funny. He is a genius to narrate and i can not imagine this book wothout his voice to read it. Also a book that touches so many important topics! Great representation for the minories as well. Just great read. You have to listen to it! ❤️
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- Felix
- 06-19-22
Couldn't put it down!
Love hearing Ryan's books in his voice. Inflection, reflection, humor. A+ would listen again
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- Kimberlee
- 12-27-23
Cock 🙈🥰
I was on the set of Miracle Workers with Steve Busemi 10 feet away slapping muscles guys asses in an episode. one of the set boys was reading this book and I saw the cover and thought that sounds/looks interesting and on my way home I looked it up. I heard the first paragraph read aloud with him describing his boyfriends dick on audible here and I was hooked. The narration is so cute and the whole book was very lovable and funny and real. I liked how everything worked out in the end too. Him impressed by his perfect clean asshole and his eating lunch with his dad and a fling in the bathroom were some parts that stood out. I think of it as a sweet bedtime story I was told when I think back. ❤️
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- ds
- 06-12-22
Transformational
The author takes a journey to accept (or not no spoilers) his disability. As a 50 year old disabled woman, I enjoyed this novel although I think non-disabled people would get a lot out it too as author reflects on relationships (romantic, familial, work, friendship) One warning do not get if you’re squeamish about descriptions of bodies or sex.
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- Matthew Everett
- 07-13-22
Memoir?
I'm familiar with the author and actor. The story seems like a autobiography; He's quite talented, but as the author of the book I have some issues. He talks too fast, and I found it difficult to understand some of his prose. I'm from NYC, so I'm used to fast talk, but this is much to fast, and often not understandable. I found little that brings this book an interesting read. I do like the author/actor personally, but can't recommend this read, even if LGBTQ or disabled persons are the main the theme. I recommend you skip this for BB now, unless you're interested in his casting in Queer as Folk. I was hoping for more.
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- JoJo Bear
- 11-08-22
Beautiful journey
Wonderfully read & written by Ryan O’ Connell! This book is witty, endearing and is relatable to all! I strongly recommend it! ❤️❤️
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- Gray
- 09-28-23
Such a great listen!
This book had me laughing out loud quite often and also tearing up at times. I loved listening to Ryan read his own story. It really brought it home for me.
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- Matthew Walker
- 06-08-22
Must read
I think Ryan O’Connell is an essential voice in media today. I have loved everything he has written and his show Special. His work, expounding the experience of otherness, of being a minority within a minority, while showing the vulnerability and uncertainty that is universal to all. Brutally honest, sexy, funny, embarrassing, heartwarming, and heartbreaking. I was sad that this book ended. Looking forward to his next work.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Scott Chance
- 06-24-22
This book is a moment
I am so thrilled, inspired, shocked, (not really) delighted and inspired that a book like this finally exists. This book is funny, horny, educational and stylish.
I love how Just by Looking at Him so easily toggles between ordinary life and filthy scenes, it’s just a joy.
Ryan O’Connor is the next queer, pop it-girl and I’m here for it.
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